Peanut Butter On your Tires
Tags: cars, Crazy, peanutbutter, strange, tires, WTF
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Here is another one of thoes “is this fo real” vids. I just did this to my ride.
Washing Kids With KoolAid WTF
Tags: Crazy, Kids, Milf, Mom, Nuts, WTF
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I don’t know if this is serious but I bet the Milf down the street does this with her kids, that lazy bitch. Also so how does this clean the kid?
Cat ass pencil sharpener?
Tags: Ass, Cat, MEOW, Pencil, WTF
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WTF. This is so wrong, but I can’t stop laughing. Meowwwwwwwwww!
Poor Rich Bitch
Tags: Coke, Drugs, Drunk, Hot, Hotel, Jail, Paris Hilton, Slut, Whore
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Friday, May 04, 2007
AP
LOS ANGELES — A California judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail Friday for violating her probation, putting the brakes on the hotel heiress’ famous high life.
Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, no furloughs, no use of an alternative jail and no electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing.
The judge ruled that she was in violation of the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.
“I’m very sorry and from now on I’m going to pay complete attention to everything. I’m sorry and I did not do it on purpose all,” she told the judge before announced the sentence.
She was then ordered to report to women’s jail in suburban Lynwood.
50 Cent gambles 1 Million on Mayweather
Tags: 1 Million, 50 cent, bling bling, Cinco de Mayo, De La Hoya, fuckload, G Unit, Las Vegas, Mayweather, MGM Grand
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For Cinco de Mayo, Boxer Floyd Mayweather will step into the ring against WBC super welterweight champion Oscar De La Hoya. Mayweather will have G-Unit rapper 50 Cent in his corner at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. 50 Cent is so positive that Mayweather will take the title that he bet 1 million dollars on it. That is a fuckload of bling bling.
Eating carpet makes lesbians fat?
Tags: Beaver, Carpet, Curvy, Fat, Health, Lesbian, Muff Divers, Obesity, Shaven, Thin
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LESBIANS are twice as likely as heterosexual women to be overweight or obese, which puts them at greater risk for obesity-related health problems and death, US researchers said. Most of the lesbians that I watch…I mean know…I mean hear about…are thin, shaven, and curvy. 
Read More…
Technorati Post
Tags: Fuctweb, Profile, Technorati
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Check out the Fuctweb Technorati Profile.
Seven-year erection
Tags: Boner, Hard, No No, Outch, Sucks
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Salesman’s hard time
Salesman Richard Carter fears he’s facing the sack after struggling with a seven-year erection.
Richard, 34, developed the rare condition priapism after taking panic attack medication.
It left his manhood almost constantly stiff and he needed eight hospital operations to reduce it, reports The Sun.
Richard’s bulge also left him in agony as he drove vans selling fire extinguishers for Chubbs.
He was forced to take so much time off that bosses have told him they may need to “reassess” whether he can still work for them as an on-the-road salesman.
Richard, from Holbrooks, Coventry, claims he’s been threatened with redundancy and offered a pay-off of just ten weeks’ wages - despite ten years service.
He said: “Some may think it’s good to have an erection for that long, but I was often in terrible pain. I had to wear knee-length coats in summer to hide it, yet people at work thought it was a joke.”
The condition has now improved and Richard won a 2003 bravery award for using his extinguishers on a blazing car.
He said: “I was told the op may make me impotent, but I had to risk it to avoid any more pain.”
Chubbs last night said they might find Richard an alternative job. A spokesman said: “We sympathise with him. His position is under review.”
Tribute to the stripper post.
Tags: dog, Doggystyle, Humpty Dance, Lapdance, Pokemon, Stripper
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Here is my tribute to the stripper post. When I hear the word stripper… I think of this song. When I hear this song… Well, I think of this video.
ROFL. Get at em dog!
Stripper that can’t count and her rant.
Tags: Count Chocula, Cunt Count, Magic Numbers, Number 10, Rant, Stripper, Stripper Rant
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ROFL. I JUST CUNT COUNT. 
Hint: Notice the missing #10.
1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it’s the fucking deed to Trump Towers… what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It’s a fuckin’ dollar, put it down on the tiprail and blow my world away already.
2) You losers that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen ~ fine point)…fuck you.
3) You with the thick-ass jeans, this was an impromptu visit, eh?
4) Don’t pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.
5) Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.
6) No I will not just let you “slip it in real quick” for $50 more bucks.
7) Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.
8)If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum in their pants from a lapdance.
9) Stop asking me out. You’re a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I’m smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn’t even fart your way.
11) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all, your breath ranks (what’d you have for dinner, garlic and shit?), you’re about 172 lbs. overweight, and you look like Jay Leno. More importantly: I don’t give a shit.
12) Don’t bitch at me about the $10 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.
13) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income.
14) No, you CAN’T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass.
15 )Boys, don’t sit in the front row with your “homies” and act all engrossed in some deep conversation during a girls performance because you want to look like you’re too “cool” to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you. It’s a clear sign that you ain’t getting any.
16) DON’T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!
17) “So what do you guys do when you’re on your period?” Answer: I lap dance with guys in dark pants.
18) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!! That’s extra.
19) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck!
20) I had a feeling you weren’t going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion and obnoxious perfume before our dance.
21) Hey cheapasses: please don’t come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to “Desperate Housewives” instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry.
22) Stop asking me why I do this job and try to get all psychologically analytical on me. For the money, you moron, that’s why.
23) No seriously, my real name is Sparkle.
24) NO, I will not take a dime sac for payment. I can tell it’s oregano anyway you stupid mutherfucker!
25) Sorry, I don’t do that. Ask the ugly girl at the bar with the black roots and overbite.
26) I can see it’s your first time at a strip club. Let me explain the dynamics to you. If you want a fuck or a blow-job, go to the ugly chicks. Hot girls don’t have to do “extra services.” I can give you some recommendations for a small fee.
27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.
28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me.
29)Yes I will fuck you, but only for 10 grand. More if you’re ugly. So basically, more.
30) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. It’s like me going to PETA looking for a steak.
31) Girls–what’s with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around the pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy.
32) Girls–stop lip-syncing to the song you’re dancing to on stage. Especially if you don’t know all the words.
33) Girls–if your toes curl and hang over your platform shoes a la’ Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size.
34) Girls–drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you’re trying to cover. Take a goddamn shower, you smell like lapdance funk.
35) Hey DJ! You suck!
36)Girls–may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That fucking dancing llama on your ass is so lame.
37)Girls–some songs just should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are, you fucking weirdo), Sade, Boys II Men, or Bjork. For the love of God, Please.
Devin the Dude. Nothing to Roll With.
Tags: 420, Devin the Dude, High, Nothing to Roll With, Smoke, Waiting to Inhale
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I got nothing to roll with, nothing to smoke with, and I like to smoke all day long. Check out his latest album.. Waiting to Inhale.
Devin the Dude - Nothing to Roll With
Game. Vida. Two-finger split fingerbang.
Tags: Fingerbang, Game, Hip hop, HOT97, Rap, Two finger split fingerbang, Vida, Vida Guerra, Wouldnt Get Far
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Alright, I know this is probably old news, but since it’s new to me and Vida is so hot…here it is. The first music video is Game’s “Wouldn’t Get Far” which was released in late January. He calls out Vida on the video, so that’s how the beef started. Then the next video clip is of him on HOT97 giving the Vida two-finger split fingerbanging story. I love Vida, but damn that’s still funny. The third video clip is of Vida trying to spit some shit at Game. IMO, she is too quiet and cute in this. She doesn’t even seem angry.
Clip 1
Clip 2
Clip 3
Wicka Wicka. 2 turntables and a granny.
Tags: Granny, Mash up, Mashin up, Turntables, Wicka
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ROFL. Granny is throwin down a session.
Crazy Naked Japanese Prank
Posted by menace on April 27th, 2007. Filed under Videos.Comment now »
You don’t need to speak Japanese to laugh at this.
I can kick you higher than you can kick me.
Tags: Chinese rap, CKY, Freestyle, Old School
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I know this old school, but it still kicks major ass. Brandon Dicamillo’s chinese freestyle from CKY2K.
